Soul Letter : Boundaries as Self-Love

A letter to the tender ones still learning they are allowed to say no.

Dear beautiful one,

For so long, I thought boundaries were sharp.
Hard. Unkind.
Something people used to keep others out.
And as a soft-hearted, deeply-feeling being, that never felt like something I could do.

But I’ve come to learn that real boundaries don’t close me off.
They return me to myself.

They are not a rejection of others but rather they are a deep, steady devotion to my own energy.

A way of whispering:
“I love you, and I love me too.”

It took time. It’s still taking time.
Here I am learning to be okay with creating boundaries.
I don’t find it easy, but the more I do it, the more courage it gives me.
The more I realise how important my boundaries are for my nervous system, my family, and my creative soul.

Unmasking is teaching me that I am allowed to feel deeply and protect what I feel.
That overstimulation isn’t a flaw but a signal.
That I don’t need to justify my silence, my no, my exit from the noise.

I used to let everything in.
The moods. The expectations. The projections.
I thought it was empathy.
But it was often self-abandonment.

Now I ask:
What do I actually need right now?
What is mine to carry… and what is not?

Boundaries aren’t barriers,
they are invitations to honour what is sacred within us.

My neurodivergent brain often makes me want to say “I will help” every time someone has a problem. To be the one who always says yes even when my load is already full.
But I am learning. Softly, bravely.
To pause. To think before offering.
To know I am allowed to not overcommit.
That I don’t have to prove my worth by pouring from an empty cup.

Some days, boundaries look like turning off my phone.
Not replying right away.
Saying no, gently and clearly, without over-explaining.

Other days, it’s choosing who gets access to my inner world.
Who makes me feel safe to unfold.
Who truly sees me and who I don’t have to shape-shift for.

Because boundaries are not about being less loving.
They’re about loving myself enough to honour my softness.
To protect my peace.
To let people meet me where I actually am and not where they want me to be.

This is the self-love work no one sees.
The pauses.
The leaving early.
The canceling with care.
The deep breath before you say, “That doesn’t feel right for me.”

And you know what?

It’s brave.
It’s beautiful.
And it’s enough.

🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃

Journal Prompts:

1. Where in my life am I craving more space, silence, or slowness?

2. What does it feel like in my body when I honour a boundary? What about when I don’t?

3. What boundary would feel like a deep act of self-love right now, even if it’s hard to hold?

4. How can I lovingly communicate my needs without apology or guilt?

   

🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃 🌿🌷🍃

If you’re learning to hold your boundaries with tenderness, I see you.
You are not selfish. You are sacred.
Your time, your energy, your heart… they all matter. You matter.

You are allowed to take up space
and shape it with love.

With gentleness and grace,
Emily xo
HeartWild